Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
by disarranging
Summary: A short continuation of the Lauren/Joey scene from the Christmas Day episode which, in my opinion, shouldn't have ended so quickly. One shot. Christmas fluff with a dash of 'Enders angst.


"I didn't mean to ruin your Christmas, Lauren."

I watched as Joey fought off an onslaught of emotions, his hand gently grazing my face as he tucked my hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes, my skin tingling wherever his fingers touched. I hadn't meant to make him think that he had ruined anything. At the end of the day, I knew it was Derek who was at fault but it still stung to know that he had chosen to let himself be convinced that the best thing to do would be to break both of our hearts. Although it felt better to know the reasons why, to hear them from his own mouth, I just felt drained from the weeks of alternating between over-thinking and not knowing what to think at all. I didn't want to think anything anymore, just to feel.

Joey's hand fell as he stood up abruptly, turning away from me. I grabbed his hand quickly, revelling in the warmth of his fingers as I stroked them softly. He had finally started to open up to me and I wasn't about to let him shut me out again. He turned his head back to me, his eyes sad.

I stood up slowly, moving forward until I was stood directly in front of him. My left hand still gripping his, I moved the other to his face. He dropped my gaze. I leant up on my tiptoes and rested my forehead against his.

"You didn't ruin Christmas, Joey." His nose brushed against mine as he turned his head into my hand, his forehead a soft pressure on mine. He let go of my hand, placing both of his on my face, his thumbs stroking my cheeks.

"I broke your heart," he whispered, looking up at me once more, pain evident in his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault," I replied, my hand resting on his broad shoulder.

"I wanted to fight for you, I wanted to protect you but I-"

"Stop, Joey" I moved closer to him, the pull between us seemed stronger than ever after all the weeks of confusion and denial. "I don't wanna talk about it anymore tonight. I don't know how we fix this and I haven't completely forgiven you yet but I just...I've missed you and-" I smiled, blinking back tears I hadn't realised were building up. "It's Christmas Day and you're actually here and even though I'm mad at you I just want to be close to you, Joey."

Joey slid his hand to the back of my head, coaxing me to close the minute gap between us. Our lips met softly. Joey's arm slid around my waist, pulling me tight against his body, a soft groan issuing from his throat. The feeling of finally kissing him like I had wanted to since mum had revealed that he did still love me was thrilling. All the nights of remembering how it felt to be close to him did no justice to actually being with him, that irresistible spark very much alive between us.

We broke apart gasping for breath, his hand running up and down my spine, making me shiver. He pecked small, hot kisses down under my jaw, sucking deliciously on the sweet spot on the side of my neck.

I ran my fingers through his hair as he rested his head on my shoulder, pushing his face into the base of my neck. "I missed you too, you know, Lauren." He raised his head, holding my gaze. "And I don't just mean because of this." He indicated with one hand our current embrace. "I miss just being with you, even if you are a drama queen," he added, a trademark twinkle in his eyes.

A short laugh escaped my lips as I rested my hands on his biceps. The air still felt slightly heavy between us as our gazes locked, both of us reflecting on where we had come to. "I know you don't want to talk about this yet but you need to understand how sorry I am. I know I was an idiot, Lauren, I really do." He paused, swallowing audibly. "You nearly broke me, you know. The other day, when you told me you still loved me. I was so close to throwing in the towel and telling you everything there and then, damn the consequences."

I looked away, trying to take in everything he was saying. When I looked back up at him he was watching me, an imploring look on his face. "What changed your mind today then? Why did you come back? The consequences are still the same aren't they? Or are you just planning on running out on me again after this? "

"No! No, Lauren, I'm not running away anymore." He cupped my face with both hands again, his gaze scorching. "I don't know what we're going to do about Derek, I really don't. But I do know that I can't be away from you anymore. When your dad called me before and explained what had happened, how upset you were...it killed me. It killed me, Lauren, When he invited me here I jumped at the opportunity but I was scared about how you would react. I didn't know if I'd ruined it. I didn't know if, after you found out about Derek manipulating me, as well as manipulating your mum to manipulate me too, that you would be sick of this whole thing, that you would've given up. But like your dad said, Derek has to be stopped and I had to give you an explanation, let you decide what you wanted."

My mind reeled slightly. It all seemed too good to be true, aside from the persisting threat of Derek, of course. "So, my dad just calmly invited you to the house on Christmas Day even though you were secretly doing his daughter and then proceeded to break her heart?"

Joey winced slightly. "Well, there may have been a few well chosen swear words and extremely threatening warnings mixed in somewhere, but, above all, he just wants you to be happy." He lowered his head so that our foreheads were touching again. "If you still want me, if I make you happy, I'm yours Lauren. I lo-"

"Don't say it!" I placed a finger over his lips. "Not yet. I'm not ready yet. I haven't processed all this yet."

Joey kissed my finger softly. "I understand. But...just know that...I do. 'Kay?"

I nodded, a tear finally falling from the corner of my eye. I moved forward, resting my chin on his strong shoulder, my arms snaking round his waist. He enveloped me in his arms, squeezing me tightly. I inhaled his scent, burying my face in his jumper, feeling protected from all the chaos around us for the first time in weeks.

"It's up to you, Lauren. The ball's in your court." He kissed the side of my forehead softly before standing up and taking my hands. "We better get back downstairs before your dad comes to check there's no funny business going on."

I smiled and pecked him on the lips one last time. "Merry Christmas, Joey."

"Merry Christmas, Lauren."


End file.
